MOC Goes to the Star Wars Convention

by Professor Chaos
Photos by Ringo-Wan

I have a confession to make. You might be surprised to learn, I'm a raging nerd at heart. I fucking LOVE Star Wars, always have. So I'm very stoked about the upcoming wave up hype known as "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith". Heck I even made a countdown page about it. If you love chaos like I do, you also probably like Star Wars. Epic battles in space, and more limbs getting lopped off than you can shake a sword at. I mean, George Lucas made a movie, deceptively called it "A New Hope", and then proceeded to blow up an entire planet of peace-loving people! You can't ask for much more than that, boys and girls.

Further, when it comes to badass, chaos-wielding villians, who beats Darth Vader? He can snap his fucking fingers and kill an entire race of people. He's a one-man walking genocide. It's just awesome. All this, and the "darkest" chapter of them all hasn't even been released yet! So you can imagine my excitement for Episode 3.

So recently, Lucas threw a big party in Indianapolis to celebrate the upcoming film, and more importantly, to wring a few more pennies out of his fans. It was a swimming success of costumes, nerds, and lines, lines, lines. We dispatched Ringo-Wan to Celebration III to chronicle the chaos that occurs when you get 50,000 mouth breathers together and expose them to non-basement air particles. He came back with pictures of nerds, lines and costumes. Ringo also brought home that dude who played Willow. He was locked in his trunk and smelled like cheap scotch.

Behold the majesty of junk you can buy.

"I'll get you, my pretty!"

"Anyone know where the line starts?"

"Oh, here we go. This doesn't look so bad..."

"Damn, this is actually a pretty long line."

"Man, I love Star Wars and all, but this line is fucking long."

"Is that Billy Dee Williams up there? Fuck, I'm getting hungry. Did anyone bring any sandwiches?"

"Finally inside! Jeez, that took four hours."

"So that was the line to get to this line. I'm starting to get a little angry now."

"Did anyone bring any dinner?"

"Welcome to the front of the line to get your picture taken with a cardboard cut-out of Chewbacca."

"Now get in line to enter the actual convention."

Child abuse

A seductive, but rather uneffective form of stormtrooper armor. She's basically providing a bullseye for any would-be attacker. Very impractical.

If you're a peace-loving stormtrooper, wouldn't that make you a rebel? This guy is clearly misunderstood.

Looks like Vader's been seduced by the power of Krispy Kremes.

Some day that little girl will be showing this picture to her therapist.

No offense, but it looks like Leia and Padme could stand to do a few crunches.

"That's right, Willow, a whole fifth of Johnny Walker awaits you in my trunk. Now smile for the camera, bitch."

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